Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Nice Jokes

Here are some nice jokes I found today.
 
Best of Sardar. . .

Srdr: I haven't slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will be there.............
Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there

A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for filling up. U know y?
FORM say  " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".

A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Hair Cutting Saloon in Punjab!

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a  women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

19 SARDARS WENT 4A FILM.ON ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME IN A BIG GROUP OF 19? THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR ABOVE 18...

A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar:    The future tense is "u will go to jail".

Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly.
A man asks why he does this.   Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."

Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth................. WHY?because his doctor advised
him "Todays dinner should be light"

Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote :    Yes!

SARDAR & FAMILY  GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF - I SARDAR,SHE SARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY KIDNEY....

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U knw  Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. 
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa

ON A ROMANTIC DATE SARDARS GIRL FRIEND ASKS HIM,DARLING ON OUR ENGAGEMENT WILL U GIVE ME A RING?
HE SAID YA SURE WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing?
Sardar: I have a Air cell phone but still hutch network is following me.

Sardar wins 20 cr from  Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.All were busy writing except one Sardarji.He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Postman:-   I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare  it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Sardar proposed a Girl......
Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'...........
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

WHY CANT SARDARS DIAL NINE-ELEVEN (911) AT EMERGENCY?
THEY CAN NOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE PHONE.

Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
Sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10

A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children? 
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly in his sleep not screamin like all the passengers in the car he was driving..

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing ?
He said-im seeing how i look while sleeping.
 
PS: No offense meant. Its just for entertainment.

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