Some Cool Jokes of LittleJohnny

These days I really need some great quality jokes to keep myself calm.

Here r some nice jokes which helped me to keep my worries and tension out of my mind. So enjoy the best from the internet collected in this post :

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1. For weeks Little Johnny kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day his mother allowed Little Johnny to feel the movements of the unborn child. Little Johnny was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat Little Johnny on her lap and said, "Johnny, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"

Little Johnny burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
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2. Teacher: "Hello boys, Remember!!! Nothing is impossible."

Little Johnny: "OK sir, could you please squeeze out all the toothpaste and put back it into the tube again."
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3. Little Johnny: "Mum, teacher was asking me today if i have any brothers or sister who will be coming to school."

Mother : "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are the only child?"

Little Johnny : She just said, "Thank goodness!"
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4. Haath mein takat hai to Tajmahal ko hila kar dekh...
Warna..
Aa baith ke do peg whiskey maar aur
Tajmahal ko hilta hua dekh...
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5. One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water
hole to get some water for cooking dinner.

As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could.

"Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked.

"I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!"

"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been
there for years, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"

"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as
I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
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6. During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents Little Johnny cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I'll never find it here at home, so I'm leaving. Don't try and stop me!" With that he headed toward the door.

His father rose and followed close behind.

"Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and stop me."

"Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait a minute, I'll go with you."

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7. Little Johnny's exasperated mother finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into heaven?"

Little Johnny thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For heaven's sake, Johnny, come in or stay out.'"